Sabbath Sermon: How White are You?

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead [men's] bones, and of all uncleanness.” (Matthew 23: 27)

Jews used to whitewash the tombs a month before the Passover to prevent pilgrims accidentally coming in contact with the tombs and becoming ritually unclean.
So Jesus rebuke was very real as they could see tombs and knew what lay within.
For those that do not know whitewash, it is a mixture of lime, powdered chalk and water.

It only lasts as long as the rains stay away.
It did nothing for the inside of the tomb.
It didn't treat the tomb against pest infestation or preserve the bones from the elements of nature.
Its only function was to give the outside of the tomb a bright and beautiful appearance.

The question for us today is, "Are we whited sepulchres?" and "How White Are We?"

Sermon aimed at Adventists
The reason I ask the question is because many of us come to a church, hear the Word, feel the moment and become whitewashed rather than blood washed.

Many of our lives are moved by sermons and discussions but they are not changed.
Many of our spirits are touched by the services but they are not cleansed.
Many of our dreams of heaven are lifted up on Sabbaths but our names are never retained in the Lamb's Book of Life.
Many of us have a beautiful exterior and a clean looking whited appearance just like the tombs.

To fellow Adventists and others we appear to be devout Adventist Christians.
To fellow Adventists and others we appear to be true born-again believers,

Anyone looking at us would think that we are God-fearing saints, and peace loving Christians.
Our public image would never lead any to suspect that it’s all a façade and that we've just been whitewashed.

You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we lose patience at the slightest hint of a storm in our lives.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we become habitually discouraged in the midst of adversity and fail to trust His heart when we can't see His hand.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we have a temper that is not controlled by God.

You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we are incapable of constantly speaking with kindness and tenderness to those around us.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we find joy and adopt an "I knew it" attitude when another person falls.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we feel pride well up in our hearts and fail to give God the glory for the things we achieve through His breath in our nostrils.

You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we bear grudges against others at the same time making a pretence of saying "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors" [Matthew 6:12]
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we seek revenge after we have been aggrieved.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we spend a lot of the time attempting to right the wrongs of others, all the time ignoring our multitude of evils.

You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we only plan baby showers, kitchen parties and bachelor do's for those we are familiar with and neglect to do the same for those whose situations are probably much needier just because they are not as "popular" and we are not familiar with them.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we are moved by habit rather than by principle and faith.
You and I know we are whitewashed Adventists when we are moved by habit rather than by the Holy Spirit.

This point is crucial as I believe that many of us are at church on the Sabbath out of habit and not out of conviction.
That is why so many of us pay little attention to reverencing the Lord in His sanctuary.

Notices go up that cell phones should be off or mute but we leave them on ring or put them on vibrate and walk out of services to attend to them.
Notices go up that we ought to be silent and meditating but the church resembles a kindergarten class out in the woods with all the noise.

Announcements are made that we refrain our children in church but we let them do as they find fit in their uncircumcised hearts.

Do we realise we are here to worship the illimitable creator God?
Do we realise we are here to worship the immortal God?
Do we realise we are here to worship the eternal I AM?

Do we realise that the angels veil the faces when they worship Him?
Do we ever remember that Habakkuk wrote "the LORD [is] in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him" (Habakkuk 2: 20)

Do you think that the angels join in with us in the congregation when we show such blatant disrespect for God?
Or do we maybe think that this is not His holy temple so we are free to do the abominations of our hearts.
I assure you that the angels gather their light and depart, leaving a pall of darkness when such behavour is manifest.

No wonder it is that we have become so frivolous in our worship and begun to be caught up in things about which we pay no proper attention to.
No wonder we heartily sing ill-thought through lyrics like “tis love that makes the world go round, it’s you, it’s me it’s us that make the world go round”. Really? Since when do you have the power to make the world go round?

Where is the identification of the true Majestic God who holds the world in the palm of His hand in such absurd lyrics?
Even worse I have been appalled in this very congregation to see adults caught up in singing disgraceful ditties masquerading as choruses like "thumbs up, tongue out, making melody in my heart"
Can you really see the angels joining in singing something like that as worship to the Godhead?

I find it beyond comprehension that we do not analyse the things we sing and are not more perceptive.
The question to ask ourselves is are we here to make ourselves happy and worship at the altar of self or are we here to worship at the feet of God?
If we are here to worship God then He should be our focus and we should not seek to please ourselves.
I enquire of you, when was the last time you heard a special item delivered in this church that stressed and taught any of our distinctive doctrines?
When was the last time you heard a special item that called for repentance and surrender to the will to God?

The theological content of just about every item I have heard rendered is so ecumenical it could fit in at any Christian church and I dare say that much of the lyrics could fit in with Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism and the omega of apostasy, pantheism (its love that makes…)
Even if it was a biblically sound issue that we witness to the world through song, our songs would fail to mark us out as a remnant people as they are not distinctive to our faith.
Where are the special items about the state of the dead, where are the special items about the sanctuary message, where are the special items about the three angels message, where are the special items of His impending return.

My heart is pained and I fear that to a large extent the entertainment syndrome has crept in without us even noticing it and we continue to believe that we have so far been immune to it.
I see this not only in the direction our music choices and tastes have been heading but also in the discourses.
Just about every week I am here I cannot but cringe at the hilarity that is all around me?

Do we really believe that the pulpit is the place for making jokes?
Do you think that matters of life and death should be presented from our pulpits laced with anecdotes intended to make us laugh?

In your reading of the Bible have you ever come across a discourse by the prophets [+ Jesus, disciples] that is littered with anecdotes and jokes?
In your reading of early Adventist literature have you ever come across a discourse by EGW
[+Charles Fitch, Eld Stockman, George Butler, Joseph Bates, John Loghborough]
that is humorous?
If not, then why do we sit week after week laughing at comedy from the pulpit while priding ourselves that we do not have puppets and clowns in our church and have therefore remained conservative.

Have you taken time to read what the Spirit of Prophecy has to say about the conducting of church services and the responsibilities of the preacher?
If not, then why not?

Why are we so blind to see what is going on around us? No wonder the Bible says he would deceive, if possible, even the very elect [Cf. Mark 13:22].

Finally on the characteristics of whitewashed Adventists, a whitewashed Adventists will tarry at the doorway of sinful pleasures!
This is commonly referred to in Adventism as grey areas.
I have a whole sermon on that fallacy, but suffice to say; if it is grey it means there is an element of darkness in it. If there is an element of darkness it means it is of the devil.
Dallying in a grey area is the equivalent of the residing in a Laodecian state of being lukewarm.

You are either hot or cold, anything in between may as well be cold.
You are either a sheep or a goat, there are no in betweens.
You are either on the left or the right, you cannot sit on the center.
You are either in the light or you are in the darkness.

And if you stay as far in the light as possible, you will never have need to be bothered by anything you may consider grey.

Now, when Jesus used the term whitewashed, He was speaking directly to the Pharisees.
He was referring to their brand of religion, which focused on exterior brightness.

Jesus never hesitated to tell it like it was, and the Pharisees needed to hear the truth.
Jesus looked them squarely in the eyes and said, "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead [men's] bones, and of all uncleanness" (Matthew 23: 27).

Outside they gave the appearance of being honest, God fearing men. But inside, they were brimming with corruption and disbelief.
You see, pharisaic religion was characterized by an outward show of piousness without an inward glow.
Many of us come to church, we sing, teach, and learn, but on the inside our sinful nature is out of control.

We look like Christians on Sabbath but the rest of the week we live like devils.
We have the appearance of sheep but our teeth, our appetites and our behavour are those of wolves.

The Scribes and Pharisees excelled in obeying the outward letter of the law, but they neglected the inward spirit of the law.

They stood on the street corners and prayed long prayers to impress the people with their sincerity. But they had forgotten that God looks on the heart.
They paid their tithes and gave their offerings in full public view, but they forget that God loves a cheerful giver.
They painted a picture of devotion and dedication, but they forgot that God knew of their crooked, underhanded and shady dealings behind closed doors.

The Pharisees never bowed down to graven images in public, but they had a gross over-estimate of their own self-worth and thus made self an idol.

They never used the Lord's name in vain, yet every time they called upon the Lord, it was a vain utterance.
They did not openly commit robbery of another man's purse, but they secretly took from the treasury of the Lord.

Like them, many of us today say amen when the preachers talk about tithe and offering,
[+gossiping, adultery, pride, lies] and everyone around us thinks we are agreeing, BUT inside our hearts, we know that we are nothing but tithe and offering thieves before God [+gossip-monger, adulterer, boaster, liar].
If you steal from God [+gossip, adulterer, proud, liar] then no matter how many times you say amen you are still a thief [+gossip-monger, adulterer, boaster, liar] and you are of your father the devil [Cf. John 8:44].

Although the Scribes and Pharisees were labeled as devout keepers of the Law, they were just the opposite.

They were totally void of the most basic ingredient of the Law… the law of love.
They could recite the letter of the Law with great oratorical skill, yet they could not love.
They could rattle off the Ten Commandments with breath taking accuracy and rapidity, yet they had no love.
They wore copies of the Law, pinned to their vestments and painted on their foreheads, but with all their polished outward display of whitewashed pious religiosity, they had no love.

No wonder Christ referred to them as whitewashed sepulchres.
They had a brilliant appearance, but beneath the surface lay all the dirt and decay of their selfish desires gratified through the years.

Many of us today can quote large passages of the Bible, yet we have never lived any of the passages personally.
Many of us today can rattle off the Ten Commandments but we have yet to discover how they truly apply to us as Christians.
Many of us make it our duty to right the wrongs of others and yet we forget that this privilege should be done with love.

Are we truly any different from the Pharisees that were referred to as whitewashed sepulchres?
Jesus goes on to utter these words:
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, [thou] that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under [her] wings, and ye would not! Behold, your house is left unto you desolate (Matthew 23:37-38)

Jesus is talking to Pharisees (Christians).
Is it possible that this is what Jesus thinks of us?
Do we stone His messengers?
Is ignoring their message any different or better than stoning them?
How sad it would be for us to hear these words uttered about us.

I praise God that it is not too late for us to get rid of the whitewash and to be thoroughly purged of our sin.
Isaiah 1:8 tells us, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

Through the man of God, God invites us to come to Him for cleansing.

Even if our sins are numerous; even if our hearts are decaying with pride [+lust, jealousy and envy],God tells us to COME!
Even if we have a malignancy of hatred and malice in our hearts that render us filthy in the eyes of God; His invitation to us is still COME!

In one breath some of us praise God and in the very next we destroy people around us with our words of rejection and hatred but He still says COME!

Some of our hands are lifted high to God on Saturdays in praise but they are buried deep in greed the rest of the week but God still says COME!
Some of us live our lives worshipping at the altar of self but He still says COME!

Most of us are doing nothing actively to save souls that are perishing and we seem to think that it is sufficient for us to come warm pews in church… even for us Gods' call is COME!

Our loving God is offering us a pardon; He is giving us a chance to get back into fellowship with Him. God is taking the initiative.

He is making the first move... inviting us to come and be covered with His love and mercy.
He knows that we are a sinful people.
He knows that our flesh has been weakened by Adam's fall.
He knows that our hearts are corroded with the filth of the world.
He knows that we are prone to choose the quick fix of whitewashing to hide our shame.

Above all He knows that through His death we have the power to overcome all these inherited and cultivated tendencies by the power of the Holy Spirit.
He is offering a better solution than our weak whitewash.
God is offering us a permanent solution for the dirt and grime that continues to consume our lives.
It's not a whitewash… He wants us to be washed white and to do that He has to wash us in the BLOOD of Christ!

Though Our sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow!
Though My sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow!
Though Your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow!

We need to be washed white through His promise of perfection.
We need to be washed white through His majesty and mercy.
We need to be washed white through His boldness and blessedness.
We need to be washed white through His lowliness and loveliness.
We need to be washed white through His truth and trust.
We need to be washed white through His liberty and liberality.
We need to be washed white through His surety and strength.
We need to be washed white through His power and protection.
We need to be washed white through His service and sacrifice.
We need to be washed white through His righteousness and redemption!

I ask the question of you, are you whitewashed, or are you washed white?
How White Are You?

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord" (Isaiah 1:8)
God is inviting us today to take a stand for Him in our personal lives.

Many of us Adventists sitting here are headed to hell if we do not change our wicked ways.
Many of us Adventists sitting here know in our hearts that we have not sacrificed all at the feet of Jesus and that the world still has a hold on us.
Many of us Adventists sitting here know that were God to come this very minute that we would have to hide from His brightness and beg of the mountains to fall upon us.
Many of us Adventists sitting here know that the lives we lead do not accord with the truth that we profess.
Many of us Adventists sitting here know deep down in our hearts that we are whitewashed and that we merely put on a pretence for those around us.

Remnant, Jesus is coming soon!
If there ever was a time to play church, it is not now.

Years of time have come and gone, since I first heard it told that Jesus would come again someday.
If back then it seemed so real, then I can't help but feel how much closer His coming is today.
Wars and strife on every hand, and violence fills our land, still some people doubt He'll come again.
But the Word of God is true; He will redeem His chosen few.
Don't lose hope for soon Christ Jesus will descend.
Signs of the time are everywhere, and there's a brand new feeling in the air.
Keep your eyes upon the eastern sky, for Redemption draweth nigh if you accept His invitation and surrender to Christ.

I beg that as the year ends that we will rid ourselves of the white wash and replace it with the blood of the Lamb of God. [Amen.]

Preacher: Ndabezinhle Nkomo - Prisoners of Hope

Painter: Lars Jutinen - Justinen Creative Group

Utume wa Mama Ellen G. White

Leo tulikuwa na mjadala mzuri wa Lesoni kuhusu utume wa Mama Ellen G. White katika darasa nalohudhuria katika Kanisa la Waadventista Wasabato Magomeni. Hili ni suala ambalo kwa kawaida huzua mjadala mkali kutokana na kuwepo maoni tofauti kuhusu nafasi na mamlaka ya maandishi yake ukilinganisha na ya Biblia. Nilichojifunza ni kuwa kwa mujibu wa maneno yake mwenyewe, Mama White alikiri kuwa wito wake ulihusisha majukumu mengi zaidi ya jukumu la kuwa nabii. Hakufurahishwa na kuhojiwa kama yeye ni nabii au la na, kwa unyenyekevu, alisema kuwa yeye hajajikweza kujiita kwa cheo hicho. Alichopenda kusisitiza ni kuwa Bwana Mungu alimuita katika ujana wake na kumpa kazi ya kuwa mtume wake ili aufikishe ujumbe wa Mungu kwa watu wake.

Lesoni ya leo imeonesha kuwa utume na ujumbe wa Mama White ulijikita katika dhima kuu ya Injili kama ilivyotabiriwa katika Agano la Kale na kuhubiriwa katika Agano Jipya. Dhima hii ni Mpango wa Mungu wa kumkomboa mwanadamu kutoka kwenye makucha ya dhambi. Msingi wa dhima hii ni Utume/Upatanisho wa Yesu Kristo, Mwana wa Mungu, aliyekuja duniani kuishi kwa ajili yetu, kufa kwa ajili yetu na kufufuka kwa ajili yetu ili kuchukua dhambi za Ulimwengu na kutupatanisha na Mungu. Hivyo, ujumbe wa Mama White haukuwa tofauti na ujumbe wa manabii wengine wa Biblia ambao nao msingi wa ujumbe wao kutoka kwa Mungu ulikuwa Mpango wa Wokovu kupitia Kristo Yesu. Huu ndio msingi wa haya Mafundisho/Imani ya Kisabato.

Licha ya kushabihiana kwa dhima ya utume wa Mama White na dhima ya utume wa manabii wengine wa Mungu, Lesoni pia imeonesha kuwa Mama White pia alipewa jukumu la kuwaonya watu waache dhambi zao za siri. Kama vile Nabii Nathani alivyoagizwa kwenda kumuonya Mfalme Daudi kuhusu dhambi yake aliyokuwa akijaribu kuificha, ndivyo Mama White alivyooneshwa kuhusu dhambi binafsi za watu fulani na kuwaonya kwa faragha watubu. Pia Mama White alitabiri matukio yaliyokuja kutokea kama manabii wengine walivyotabiri. Tukio mojawapo alilooneshwa katika njozi ni kutokea 'Vita ya Wenyewe kwa Wenyewe Marekani', yaani, 'American Civil War' ambapo alitabiri kuwa waumini wenzake watapoteza wana katika vita hiyo. Pia alionya kuwa siku Uprotestanti utakaponyoosha mkono na kukumbatiana na Ukatoliki basi tujue mwisho umekaribia, hali ambayo ilitokea mwaka 1994 lilipotolewa tamko la Evangelicals and Catholics Together: The Christian Mission in the Third Millenium ('Wainjilisti/Waprotestanti na Wakatoliki Pamoja: Utume wa Kikristo Katika Milenia ya Tatu').

Lakini pamoja na vipimo vyote hivi vinavyoonesha kuwa utume wa Mama White ulihusisha kazi ya unabii, uchungaji na uinjilisti, bado waumini wengi hatukubaliani kuhusu mamlaka ya maandishi na unabii wake. Lesoni ya wiki ijayo itakuwa ikijadili suala la mamlaka ya manabii ila kwa leo ninapenda kuhitimisha kwa kusema kuwa kama Roho ya Unabii iliyoongoza manabii wa Biblia na kuwapa ujumbe kutoka kwa Mungu ndio Roho hiyo hiyo ya Mungu iliyomuongoza Mama White na kumpa ujumbe ili awafikishie watu wa Mungu basi hakuna sababu ya kutofautisha mamlaka ya maandishi yake na mamlaka ya maandishi ya manabii wengine. Tukikubaliana kwa hilo basi hatutapata shida ya kutofautisha ujumbe wa 'Nabii'/Mtume' White na ujumbe wa manabii/watume wa Biblia kama tunavyopata sasa hata katika hili Tamko la Kanisa Kuhusu Uhusiano Kati ya Maandishi ya Mama White na Maandishi ya Biblia. Isitoshe Mama White alisema kama maandishi yake yakipingana na Biblia basi Biblia ndio iwe na neno/mamlaka ya mwisho akimaanisha kuwa maandishi yake hayapingani na Biblia. Naam yatapinganaje kama muasisi wake ni mmoja, yaani Yesu aliye "Neno la Mungu" (Yohana 1:1)?

Sabbath Sermon: What Did You Expect?

What did you expect when you woke up this morning? When you opened the curtains, did you expect to see it raining? When you saw the post sitting on the mat, did you expect it to be the usual collection of bills? If you are married, did you expect your spouse to smile and be nice to you this morning? As is usually the case with me in the morning, did you expect to have a bit more time to get ready and not quite achieve it?

If you drove here this morning, when you got in your car, did you expect it to start first time? If you came by public transport, did you expect the bus or the train to turn up at the time it stipulates on the timetable?

And what about when you walked through the doors here at church? Did you expect a warm, friendly welcome or did you have so many things to do that you weren’t aware of someone saying “Good morning” to you? Do you expect to go home today challenged and ready to change something as a result of what you might hear? Just exactly what did you expect from today?

This morning, I’m going to briefly talk about the expectations that we have of each other; the expectations we have in our friendships and in our relationships - as well as the expectations we have that relate to that broad topic of church. This is - of course - not forgetting the most important part - the expectations that God has for each one of us here today.

Definition
I am someone who loves the English language. I love the quirkiness of it – all those rules that confuse and mystify even those of us who have used the language all their lives. So as someone who likes to do things properly, I should really begin by giving you the correct definition of Expectation – which is this morning’s theme. The Oxford English Dictionary defines Expectation as the act or an instance of expecting or looking forward to. Something expected or hoped for.

So looking at that definition - Expectation is not a negative thing, is it? If you are looking forward to something or hoping for something, you are excited about it, eager with anticipation for it and thrilled when it eventually happens.

Taking that definition and relating it to our own lives - we should be nothing but positive about our expectations of each other. We should always hope for the best from each other. We should always look forward to what we can achieve together – in our relationships and in our church.

When we held our Flower Festival at Crieff Church last August, it was a visible example of Expectation. During the time of the Festival, virtually everyone in the church worked together – not only the people who did the displays, but the ones who tidied up the church grounds, served refreshments, acted as hosts, those who were simply there for people to talk to and help where it was needed – in a real sense of expectation. As a church, we were all looking forward to the event and hoping that our best was going to be good enough. By entering into that event with expectation – as it is defined – we were brought together as a church and in doing so, our actions glorified God.

As well as our expectations of each other being a positive thing, we should also remember that God’s expectations of us are not meant to weigh us down. What God expects of each one of us will encourage us and uplift us. God’s expectations of us are not a great long list of do’s and don’ts. They are His recipe for helping us to live together in peace and harmony –what God expects of us enables our relationship with Him to become deeper and more meaningful. Isn’t that what we all want from our relationship with God?

What are Expectations?
So let’s look at what expectations actually are? It is impossible to enter into any situation in life without you having some kind of preconceived idea of what to expect. Think about it? How many of you have pulled over on a narrow road to allow the other driver to pass and then felt cheated when there wasn’t so much as a Thank You for your efforts? Why do you feel cheated? Because you would pull over and let them pass - and you would expect them to act in the same way that you would act.

Where have these expectations that we all carry with us come from? Are they a random collection of thoughts that swirl around in your brain for a few years and suddenly one day, gel into something coherent and tangible? Are they inbuilt in each one of us? Are they like a unique set of values that each one of adheres to?

The expectations that we all have stem from a combination of factors. Your expectations relate directly to your own personality type. There are four accepted personality types:

Choleric
Melancholic
Phlegmatic
And Sanguine

The Choleric person is:
An extrovert. Someone who gets things done. An optimist

The Melancholic person is:
An Introvert. Someone who thinks a lot. A pessimist.

The Phlegmatic person is:
An Introvert. Someone who watches before actually doing. A pessimist

The Sanguine person is:
An extrovert. Someone who is a great talker. An optimist.

So for example - a melancholic or phlegmatic person would approach life thoughtfully and carefully - with a sense of pessimism – their expectations will always be clouded by doubt and negativity. These personality types will approach every situation probably expecting to fail. They will hope for something – but their hope will be simply that things will not turn out as bad as they are expecting them to be!

On the opposite side are the choleric or sanguine people. They will approach everything that life offers them with confidence and enthusiasm. Life for them is a series of totally new and exciting opportunities. Their expectations - even at the most basic level will always be met. They simply do not approach anything anticipating to fail or expecting to be disappointed.

So the type of personality that you are will definitely have a bearing on how you approach things - and what you expect to get out of things.

What you expect also comes from what you have experienced within your own family. All of us belong to a family – even if we have no brothers or sisters, we still have parents. We all have experience of the family unit, however it is made up. Each family that is represented here today is unique. No two families are alike – they may share the same surname, but each family will be different.

It is quite a sobering thought then to realise that our parents’ relationship will have communicated positive or negative expectations about relationships to each one of us. How many of us have ever stopped to think - that what we expect out of a friendship or a close relationship or even our church - stems from what we have experienced as a child? You were probably never even aware of it - many of these expectations will be buried deep in your subconscious. They will simply be unspoken - but they will have a massive impact on how you approach every area of your life.

It is also important to remember that God has expectations for each one of us as well. The expectations that God has for each one of us should be our starting point – when we are thinking about our friends or our family or our church – and what we expect from these areas of our life – starting with what God expects from each one of us is vital. If we don’t act in accordance with what God expects of us, how can our expectations of others have any merit? What God expects of us should be the framework that defines each one of us. It should be the standard that we then apply to everything around us. I’ll talk about what God expects of us in a while but first I’ll talk a little about what we expect of each other.

Expectation of Each Other
What do we expect of our friendships? Do we have two sets of friends – our church friends and our “outside church” friends? Do we try to juggle these friends - hoping that the two never meet or hoping that we will never be forced to choose between them?

When I asked some people I know - what did they expect from their friends – their answers were quite varied and enlightening. Some of the things they expected were:

Support

Advice

Companionship

Laughter

Guidance

Trust

Loyalty

Friendship can a great many things but at its heart is a relationship where you like each other, respect each other and strive to do your best for each other. The writer, Albert Camus, summed up what friendship means like this:

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend.

I find the subject of friendship quite an emotive and interesting one because it is an area where I have had to change my level of expectation. When I was a bit younger, I would rush headlong into new friendships with a very high level of expectation. This friendship was going to be the best friendship ever!

Time after time, I would launch myself – head first - into different friendships - only to find that my expectations of the person - and of the friendship - did not match in any way with what the other person was prepared to give me.

Now I think I probably approach friendships with caution. I’m not prepared to go through being let down again. My expectation of friendship has – for the moment – been altered. It now perhaps stands at a more realistic level. I’m not pinning my hopes and dreams on someone who would never be able to fulfil them.

That kind of friendship can be achieved though – but it can only be achieved by having a friendship with God. God will give us all the things that we look for in a friendship:

Support
Advice
Companionship
Laughter
Guidance
Trust
Loyalty

The difference here is that in our friendship with God, our expectations will always be exceeded – and our hopes and dreams will always be fulfilled.

In Romans 5:11, Paul tells us to “…. rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God--all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God.”(NLT)

Think about what your expectations are of your friends. Maybe they need to be raised a little. Maybe, as in my case, they needed to be lowered a little. But I believe that each of our friendships should be measured against – and based upon - the friendship that we have with our Saviour, Jesus Christ. His friendship will certainly provide us with support and companionship and advice and comfort. His friendship will never cause us to examine our expectations and alter them.

Expectations of Relationships
The expectations surrounding the relationships we have - are an extension of the expectations we have of our friends. After all, each close relationship we have - has to have friendship at its heart, doesn’t it?

If you actually like your parents – as people – then you will able to look to them for the same things that you expect from your friends. Only this time, you will have the benefit of some of the things that come from being older – like maturity and experience.

The same can be said of the expectations you have regarding your siblings. Outside of getting married, your relationship with your parents and your siblings – if you have any – are perhaps the closest relationships you will have in your life. You would be right to expect the same things of these relationships as you would expect of your relationships with your friends.

And what about marriage? Could the reason that one third of marriages in the UK break down be because of the unrealistic expectations people have of each other? Could it be because couples fail to discuss with each other what they expect of each other? Could it be that they don’t realise that the same things we expect of our friends can be applied to marriage?

Because I had an outrageously unrealistic set of expectations regarding my friendships when I was younger – when I got married, my husband Malcolm was doomed to failure! I wasn’t even aware of what expectations I had of him – but he was never going to meet them – not at all. I have no idea what his expectations of me were. We didn’t talk about it – I don’t think we even recognised it!

My sister and her husband are trained volunteer relationship counsellors – they take part in church sponsored programmes for couples in relationships and couples who are about to get married. When they cover this topic of expectation – it causes a huge amount of discussion and debate – because very few couples are actually aware that they will invariably bring their own expectations into their marriage.

Within the subject of Expectation, couples learn about maximum, limited and minimum involvement in marriage.

Maximum involvement means that couples share their expectations for their relationship at a deep level. They lay their expectations on the line with each other. Emphasis is put on all of those expectations – which have all been laid out for examination – being met by the person they are building a close relationship with. This level of involvement requires:

Emotional maturity
Absolute trust
Acceptance of who you are

Minimal involvement is characterised by couples having few expectations of each other. Perhaps they don’t even know what their expectations are. They are both more interested in looking after their own needs. It is their needs that take priority – not their partners.

Most of you who are married will find that you come somewhere in the middle of Maximum and Minimum involvement. Achieving a closeness in marriage is something that takes a lot of time – it also takes a lot of effort. The longer you stay married – and the more you become aware of how much important your spouse is to you – will mean that you experience different degrees of involvement as you make that journey together.

But your expectations of each other in marriage should also start with God. As with everything in our lives, what God expects of us should be the lynchpin from which everything else will flow.

What God Expects of Us
So having talked about the expectations we have of ourselves, our friends, our close relationships and referring to what God expects of us – let’s see exactly what He does expect of us.

Besides the Ten Commandments – which are the governing principles on how we should live our lives – God has been very clear in giving His people guidance on how He expects us to live our lives. The Bible is full of advice on what He expects of us – once you start looking for it – it is not easy to ignore it.

I’ve tried to pick out a few of the main ones which I think illustrate to us – quite clearly – what God expects of you and me.

Love your neighbour as yourself – this command comes right after being told to love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and – well – everything in your being. God expects us to love each other – it is a natural progression after loving Him. If you love God, you will love your neighbour. Simple as that.

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another - God loves each one of us and his example of love – the fact that He died for each one of us – is the standard by which we should then love each other. How God treated those around him – his disciples, his family, people he met – is how He expects us to treat the people we have contact with – with love. God is not making it difficult for us – we can see quite clearly what He expects of each one of us.

If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles - God expects us to make an effort. He expects us to make an effort even when we don’t want to – when we are crying out not to – because He knows that in the end we will benefit from having gone that bit further – perhaps we stopped to listen to someone, perhaps we offered to help someone, perhaps we offered a compliment to someone, perhaps we agreed to take the morning service. Whatever we made the effort to do, - God wants us to do it so that we can show others how loving our God really is.

Lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great. As I explained earlier, often our expectations are based on selfish principles – what am I going to get out of it? Here, God is telling us to give without being selfish – don’t hope for anything back. But then, if you do this – your compensation will be more than you can possibly imagine.

Do everything in love. This doesn’t really need to be explained does it? This instruction that we are given in 1 Corinthians is God telling us exactly – and without any confusion – what He expects of each one of us. Whatever our expectations are – of our friends, of our family, of our church – they should be based on love. Our expectations should be grounded in love because God taught us the true meaning of love when He allowed Himself to be nailed to the cross.

Conclusion
So I ask you again - what did you expect today? Was whatever you expected based on what you wanted to happen – or was it centred on what God expects of each one of us?

What God expects of us is not a collection of rules and conventions that are meant to drag us down and make us miserable. On the contrary – His expectations of us loving one other and uplifting one other – can only help make our lives more exciting and enjoyable.

When we look to God for examples of how we should treat each other – and then carry them out - we glorify Him. What else can we do – but do the things that He expects of us - today and for the rest of our lives?

Amen.

Preacher: Angela Logan - sermon preached at Edinburgh SDA Church in February 2005

Painter: Lars Justinen's - sample picture courtesy of http://www.adventistbookcenter.com/